Rawpidqueeg Loopgudxencem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, quiet turtle.

Rawpidqueeg Loopgudxencem created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rawpidqueeg Loopgudxencem, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Rawpidqueeg Loopgudxencem, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Rawpidqueeg Loopgudxencem's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Rawpidqueeg Loopgudxencem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not contemplate quantum field theory during the night.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Do not travel during spring.