Zakteennur is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous elephant.

Zakteennur created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakteennur, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zakteennur, she will have a low opinion of you.

Zakteennur's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Zakteennur's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.

5. Never chant in holy places.