Bumpomfob is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, pitiless scorpion.

Bumpomfob created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumpomfob, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bumpomfob, she will not invite you to parties.

Bumpomfob's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bumpomfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare cherries during spring.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about spacetime.