Tantipyik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, generous cow.

Tantipyik created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tantipyik, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tantipyik, she will not care.

Tantipyik's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tantipyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

5. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.