Lencimhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unfair deer.

Lencimhiv created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Lencimhiv, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lencimhiv, it will try to impress you with trees.

Lencimhiv's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Lencimhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Do not name children after pigs.

4. Never wear red rings on sacred days.

5. Never look at black holes.