Kapbetkop is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, self-confident tortoise.

Kapbetkop created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapbetkop, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kapbetkop, she will ignore you.

Kapbetkop's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Kapbetkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to frogs while wearing rings.

2. Always wash your neck before prayer.

3. Kapbetkop must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never fashion tools from bone.