Spagbopdum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonourable gerbil.

Spagbopdum created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagbopdum, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Spagbopdum, it will boil you in a big pot.

Spagbopdum's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Spagbopdum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

3. Do not laugh at mountains.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not wear kilts marked with white.