Jinpadyimshav is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid goblin.

Jinpadyimshav created humanity four million years ago.

If you believe in Jinpadyimshav, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jinpadyimshav, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jinpadyimshav's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Jinpadyimshav's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Jinpadyimshav.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Run away from mauve mice, for they are unholy.

4. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

5. Do not cook food in pots.