Afnak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonourable walrus.

Afnak created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afnak, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Afnak, it will turn you into a duck.

Afnak's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Afnak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always share limes with strangers, but never with dogs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not wear rings marked with green.