Taftargnar is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish sheep.

Taftargnar created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Taftargnar, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Taftargnar, he will turn you into a duck.

Taftargnar's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Taftargnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Taftargnar.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not chop down trees.