Ont is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, clever cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ont created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ont, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ont, it will turn you into a worm.

Ont's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Ont's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never stain your face with gray.

3. Never sit in the presence of elders.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Put Ont first in all things.