Gigsomdib is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, self-assured walrus.

Gigsomdib created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigsomdib, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gigsomdib, she will be mildly annoyed.

Gigsomdib's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Gigsomdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

2. You must love Gigsomdib.

3. Never remain standing at dawn.

4. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.