Tikvabdon is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, grumpy octopus.

Tikvabdon created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikvabdon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tikvabdon, he will turn you into a worm.

Tikvabdon's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tikvabdon's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Do not covet oxen.