Tailkadflab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, staggering hyena.

Tailkadflab created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailkadflab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tailkadflab, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Tailkadflab's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tailkadflab's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. Tailkadflab loves bats, so they must be honoured.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tailkadflab.

4. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.