Fumgubfem is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, awesome jackal.

Fumgubfem created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fumgubfem, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fumgubfem, she will have a low opinion of you.

Fumgubfem's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Fumgubfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not gather at doors at midnight.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about comets.