Gedcisshiv Sandnegfom is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, humane aardvark.

Gedcisshiv Sandnegfom created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedcisshiv Sandnegfom, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gedcisshiv Sandnegfom, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gedcisshiv Sandnegfom's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gedcisshiv Sandnegfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always count to six before sleeping.

4. Run away if five horses approach from the north.

5. Do not wear fawn clothing.