Flamvadlab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, two-faced troll.

Flamvadlab created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamvadlab, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flamvadlab, it will send minions to preach to you.

Flamvadlab's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Flamvadlab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Never mark doors with turquoise.

3. Never feed lots of aubergines to moths while wearing red boots.

4. Never curse while facing east.

5. Respect your elders.