Bifteenken is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable centaur.

Bifteenken created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifteenken, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bifteenken, he will turn you into a hamster.

Bifteenken's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bifteenken's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bifteenken.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not leap at forests.

4. Do not kill ducks.

5. Do not travel during summer.