Arthapril is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, contented pig.

Arthapril created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Arthapril, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arthapril, she will turn you into a sheep.

Arthapril's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Arthapril's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never talk about special relativity near tortoises while wearing gray shorts and balancing four platinum spheres on your back.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

5. Never approach mountains carrying stone.