Barngonxem Japquartyok is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, clever ant.

Barngonxem Japquartyok created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barngonxem Japquartyok, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Barngonxem Japquartyok, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Barngonxem Japquartyok's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Barngonxem Japquartyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

4. Do not consume grapes at dawn.

5. Always obey Barngonxem Japquartyok's priests.