Nurlfitkar is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unjust dugong.

Nurlfitkar created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfitkar, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurlfitkar, he will ignore you.

Nurlfitkar's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Nurlfitkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse ash with water.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never pray while filled with joy.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Do not hurt hamsters.