Figjonlogvon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, idiotic mink.

Figjonlogvon created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Figjonlogvon, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Figjonlogvon, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Figjonlogvon's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Figjonlogvon's Holy Commandments

1. Figjonlogvon must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Hide if eight mites approach from the north.

4. Always count to six before sleeping.

5. Do not place spinach upon stone.