Larpcarhim Batboghen Dagcussjan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic crow.

Larpcarhim Batboghen Dagcussjan created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpcarhim Batboghen Dagcussjan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Larpcarhim Batboghen Dagcussjan, she will turn you into a frog.

Larpcarhim Batboghen Dagcussjan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Larpcarhim Batboghen Dagcussjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt seals.

2. Never eat oranges on holy days.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Larpcarhim Batboghen Dagcussjan.

4. Never allow birds to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.