Yikomtnul is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, intelligent hippopotamus.

Yikomtnul created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikomtnul, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yikomtnul, it will turn you into a hamster.

Yikomtnul's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Yikomtnul's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

5. Never mark doors with violet.