Yogbanbest is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, compassionate camel.

Yogbanbest created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogbanbest, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yogbanbest, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yogbanbest's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yogbanbest's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Yogbanbest in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always share onions with strangers, but never with aardvarks.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near voles while wearing black stockings and balancing eight silver spheres on your feet.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.