Tettinilltaf is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthinking naga.

Tettinilltaf created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettinilltaf, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tettinilltaf, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tettinilltaf's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tettinilltaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Never bounce near horses.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Always wash your face before prayer.