Ortflabnig is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, omniscient hydra.

Ortflabnig created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortflabnig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ortflabnig, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Ortflabnig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Ortflabnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix strawberries with water.

2. Never wear cyan tights on sacred days.

3. Do not name children after ducks.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Never point your chest toward the south during prayer.