Sterarphen is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awe-inspiring dove.

Sterarphen created time and space three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterarphen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sterarphen, it will turn you into a rock.

Sterarphen's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sterarphen's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Sterarphen.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.