Jatbepyam is a god.

She takes the form of a small, amazing dove.

Jatbepyam created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatbepyam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jatbepyam, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jatbepyam's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Jatbepyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Jatbepyam on top of all buildings.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.