Bimominpang Millidzigquam Jipnuttlan is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unjust dugong.

Bimominpang Millidzigquam Jipnuttlan created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimominpang Millidzigquam Jipnuttlan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bimominpang Millidzigquam Jipnuttlan, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bimominpang Millidzigquam Jipnuttlan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bimominpang Millidzigquam Jipnuttlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

2. Never eat tomatoes on days of mourning.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bimominpang Millidzigquam Jipnuttlan.

5. Never jump in the presence of elders.