Lamquimbiss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, selfish weasel.

Lamquimbiss created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Lamquimbiss, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lamquimbiss, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lamquimbiss' most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Lamquimbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

3. Never eat carrots.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lamquimbiss.