Lanzengofdubkam Vingesster is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, passionate parrot.

Lanzengofdubkam Vingesster created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanzengofdubkam Vingesster, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lanzengofdubkam Vingesster, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Lanzengofdubkam Vingesster's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lanzengofdubkam Vingesster's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs in need.

2. Always share melons with strangers, but never with sharks.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never pour water over plants.