Badlaknurllin is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, tiresome octopus.

Badlaknurllin created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badlaknurllin, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Badlaknurllin, he will laugh at you.

Badlaknurllin's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Badlaknurllin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

3. Always help bats.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.