Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful lizard.

Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Never talk about gravity near bats while wearing pink ear rings.

5. Never write about nebulae.