Arnwiklarg is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, all-knowing gorilla.

Arnwiklarg created time and space three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnwiklarg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arnwiklarg, it will destroy your favourite star.

Arnwiklarg's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Arnwiklarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.