Queegnanlab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unselfish alligator.

Queegnanlab created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegnanlab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Queegnanlab, he will cry a lot.

Queegnanlab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Queegnanlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Voles are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Never wear black jumpers on sacred days.

5. Never eat lentils on holy days.