Mettitcem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, thoughtless sheep.

Mettitcem created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mettitcem, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Mettitcem, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Mettitcem's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Mettitcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Never touch blood while tainted.

3. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.

4. Never allow foxes to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not listen to music.