Cipvabnutt Disshubpom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty cow.

Cipvabnutt Disshubpom created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipvabnutt Disshubpom, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cipvabnutt Disshubpom, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cipvabnutt Disshubpom's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Cipvabnutt Disshubpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near eagles while wearing orange hats and balancing six iron spheres on your head.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

5. Run away if four mice approach from the south.