Tigfen is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, proud octopus.

Tigfen created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigfen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tigfen, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tigfen's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tigfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Never gather five aardvarks in one place.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never paint your chest black.