Bassvenwod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, competent salamander.

Bassvenwod created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassvenwod, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bassvenwod, he will turn you into a plant.

Bassvenwod's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bassvenwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during spring.

2. Never pray while filled with envy.

3. You must love Bassvenwod.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bassvenwod.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.