Gidyarpkom is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, overgenerous skunk.

Gidyarpkom created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidyarpkom, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gidyarpkom, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gidyarpkom's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gidyarpkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gidyarpkom's name in vain.

2. Do not hop at rivers.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always take life seriously.