Haprilkin is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, conceited dragonfly.

Haprilkin created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haprilkin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Haprilkin, he will turn you into a slug.

Haprilkin's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Haprilkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six badgers in a large pit.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

3. Never allow great tits to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not consume carrots at dawn.

5. Always remove hats before touching lead.