Narhatquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful deer.

Narhatquaf created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narhatquaf, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Narhatquaf, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Narhatquaf's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Narhatquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to mice while wearing purple hats.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.