Cumyartcib is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, boastful elephant.

Cumyartcib created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumyartcib, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cumyartcib, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cumyartcib's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Cumyartcib's Holy Commandments

1. Always store peas above ground.

2. Do not record numbers concerning galaxies.

3. Do not keep four goats in a large pit.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not chop down trees.