Gutfoblig Jinhatyat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, intelligent porpoise.

Gutfoblig Jinhatyat created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutfoblig Jinhatyat, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gutfoblig Jinhatyat, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gutfoblig Jinhatyat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Gutfoblig Jinhatyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

2. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always help geese in need.