Yarttonkbum is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, idiotic bird.

Yarttonkbum created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarttonkbum, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yarttonkbum, it will curse you with boils.

Yarttonkbum's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Yarttonkbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

2. Feed all hungry badgers.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never record names.