Nillgondoss is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring mole.

Nillgondoss created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillgondoss, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nillgondoss, he will not care at all.

Nillgondoss' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Nillgondoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near goats while wearing gray shorts and balancing three nickel spheres on your neck.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always pray immersed in water.