Cetingtif is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, stupid lobster.

Cetingtif created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetingtif, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cetingtif, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cetingtif's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Cetingtif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Always count to three before sleeping.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing seven lead spheres on your head.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.