Cussomttikban is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unjust gorilla.

Cussomttikban created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussomttikban, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cussomttikban, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cussomttikban's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Cussomttikban's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow shrews to witness sacred rites.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near foxes while wearing brown trousers and balancing six carbon spheres on your back.

4. Do not prepare coconuts while filled with fear.

5. Always stare at clouds.