Arpfligjap is a god.

He takes the form of a large, strong turtle.

Arpfligjap created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpfligjap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arpfligjap, he will try to impress you with trees.

Arpfligjap's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Arpfligjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to gulls while wearing yellow coats.

2. Never mark doors with magenta.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Do not hurt grasshopers.

5. Never cross rivers at midday.